Whom Shall I Send?

I first observed Vic & Di from afar ministering as a couple at St Tom’s Sheffield when they had first arrived in Sheffield in the 90’s with Bob & Mary Hopkins team. I was taken with their quiet service, they didn’t push themselves forward. They carried a servant’s heart, humbly serving others including the leaders in the body. I knew this to be a quality that captured the heart of Jesus and I waited and watched.

Di was always at the best conferences where Holy Spirit was invited too. It was probably a good decade before God let our paths properly cross and after many smiles and hellos we met for a coffee maybe once or twice a year. I love when you meet up with another believer and the whole conversation is full of Him. I always came away from my time with Di spiritually sharpened.

We had no idea the extent God was already weaving his plans in our lives.

At the age of 7 I had been given a scripture promise to learn Luke 4 v 18, the spirit of the Lord is upon me…it fascinated me then and inspired my life, to preach good news to the poor. By my mid 30s I was serving God and His people, as a Project Manager of a daycentre for Homeless Street Drinkers. It was a tough calling but I loved it. God never left me, I learned so much about His ways, His love for me and these extraordinary people on the streets, my unusual family. In 2011 He asked me to lay my calling down… in obedience I said yes, and He said ‘He had more for me’. I had no idea what was next, other than I knew it would begin with rest. I thought I trusted Him for everything else. At a similar time God was beginning to challenge Vic & Di with what he planned next in their lives, after taking them on a trip to Turkey.

I left my job, and began an extended period of rest (a furlough of sorts) that was greatly needed. I had given out a lot to others over the years. However I found myself having to lay down even more of my life, my home, my furniture and a lot of my possessions. I found myself in Newcastle up the A1 from Sheffield with very little, dependent entirely on Him and His provision of friends. He kept asking me to ‘Trust Him, lean not on my understanding.’

I contacted Di at this time knowing she would discern if I had gone a stray from God's word. I had already decided I had somehow misheard God, because how could this possibly be Gods will for me? No home, no job and at that point not a lot of direction from Him other than to Trust Him!

Di was so excited when she heard from me, so encouraged by what she heard that God was doing in my life. God was asking Vic & Di to do the same, lay down their retirement, their plans, give up their home in Sheffield, their possessions and move to Turkey to join Him in building His Vision. At a time they thought they may start to take things slower God was saying He had more. I remember listening on my end of the phone thinking how could Di be encouraged by my circumstances? I was shocked; I was a mess crying most of the time about everything I had laid down. I felt far from a woman of faith!

Months later Vic & Di invited me to come and stay with them for a couple of weeks. They were well into their own plans to respond to God's call and let go of their lives in Sheffield and move to Turkey. I wasn’t quite as excited by this new lifestyle as them at this point. My flesh was still finding it hard; I eventually learnt to keep on telling my flesh to be quiet. I was also battling my understanding; wanting to understand my circumstances and not fully trusting God and laying my head on his shoulder as He asked me.

Vic & I got into a discussion; I couldn’t actually remember at which point I had agreed with God to lay everything down in my life, my calling, my job yes, but the rest how and when I said yes to all this. Vic stated that I would have agreed to this new lifestyle. I wasn’t convinced, I felt somewhere I hadn’t been given the small print to read by God. Vic was adamant at some point in my life I would have declared to God I would lay down everything in my life. I must have looked blank. Vic replied ‘how many times have you sung to God Here I am send me, I give you my all, everything. Did you mean it when you sang these words to Him?’ he asked.

I was stunned!

I suddenly saw my life flashing back. Yes, I had replied ‘yes’ in the night when I heard God calling to me as a child. I had cried out ‘send me’ when He had called me by name and revealed His heart for His people living on the streets. I had sung from my heart many times lost in the wonder of who He was and my response to Him was I wanted to lay down everything and follow Him.

He had heard my answer… Yes Lord

I had said yes and as loud as my flesh wanted to scream at my present circumstances, my spirit's cry was still yes Lord Jesus yes. I needed to Trust Him.

Our present journeys with God began long ago; He First loved us and called us to follow Him. Known by name, we hear Him call and so many of us respond, Yes Lord Jesus. We have no idea where that yes will lead. Vic, Di & I with thousands of others can give testimony that saying yes to Jesus can lead you into the most unexpected times and places in our lives. It will not always be an easy path but He never calls us to a new Journey without accompanying us. It’s a walk of intimacy with Him, just like the apostle John, the beloved we too can lean on Him and the journey begins.

Vic & Di went to live in a new nation Turkey to begin forming a prayer community. In my own journey I found myself visiting Poland, supporting an English couple called to form a 24 hour house of prayer and creativity in Auschwitz, and last year to visit Vic & Di in Turkey and support them in God’s plans in Turkey.